I think if I wrote this before we left for California it probably would have taken on a different tone than what is below. At the beginning of the month I was more or less feeling like I was stuck in a bit of a rut (my period may or may not have been contributing to this feeling lol) with the day before my birthday being one of those days when you wake up and just think “wtf am I doing with my life?” On one hand I’ve been feeling so ready to get going creating and building a life beyond what already is. On the other hand, I’ve also been feeling mildly unfocused, overwhelmed, anxious about time and generally lacking clarity on certain aspects of my life. I basically feel like I’ve been siting in some form of “hurry up and wait” energy – all of which is completely self imposed!
After some time reflecting though, I’ve embraced a more optimistic, “I’m right where I need to be” mentality and doing my very best to embrace a slower pace. As a highly practiced doer and get-things-done-er, it’s been a process unraveling the belief that I always have to be working towards some bigger loftier life goal. Always “making progress” if you will. Logically, I know that how we do life and on what timeline is completely up to us, but sometimes it can be hard to remember that in todays day and age of social media and hyper connectivity.
I realized that I wasn’t in fact stuck or treading water while I figure out which direction to swim. Rather, I had a perfect opportunity to dig deeper with myself, look at where I’m holding myself back – professionally, emotionally, mentally, spiritually etc., and recalibrate. I think as humans, we are really good at “protecting” ourselves from potential pain or failure, especially if we’ve experienced it in the past. However, it can also lead us to play small in life.
I think one of the most impactful things I learned in working on myself over the years is that we develop subconscious beliefs based on our experiences that function on autopilot below the surface that may or may not be hindering our potential.
I often remind myself of something Jenna Zoe said once which was more or less “…do your day the way you secretly wish you could…” when I’m feeling stuck in life or my career. Something about “secretly wish you could” allows may brain to bypass all of the excuses that would normally pop up.
All that’s to say, if you’ve been feeling like everyone else is thriving, moving and shaking their way through life, remember, you’re right where you need to be. Time and life will always move forward, as will you, at your own pace, in you own way. Take the time to turn your attention on yourself (and whatever comes up) instead of everyone else. Ask yourself what you secretly yearn for or how you secretly wish that you could do life.
Sometimes we need to pause and recalibrate, up-level ourselves in a way, before we quantum leap in life.
This month I’m doing my best to ‘lighten up’ for lack of a better phrase and not put so much pressure on myself to have things all figured out.
I want to intentionally take time to reflect, but also just have some fun and pursue the things that feel good to me; even if there’s no “end goal” in doing it.
On The Calendar
One word – California. Yup, another west coast road trip like last year, but with less stops this time. (I’m currently in LA as I write this!) We decided to just do SF and LA this time with SF on the front and back end and LA in the middle.
Last week we stayed in a cute little cottage just north of the city in Mill Plane and spent most of the week catching up with friends and family that live in the area and of course celebrating my birthday.
Mill Plane is adorable – super walkable with lots of veg-friendly places and more amenities and shops than I think I expected. It’s also 15 minutes from Larkspur (another cute little walkable town) where Resonance Spa is. I treated myself to a little spa day and booked a 90 minute Lymphatic Detox Massage with some sauna time before hand. I’ve only gotten massages there, but I can’t recommend it enough. A bit speedy, but everything is super intentional, well-crafted (I believe they make their own products) and top notch quality.
For my birthday we got dinner at Baia, a plant-based Italian restaurant, and went to see Harry Potter and The Cursed Child which I absolutely loved and made me want to rewatch all the Harry Potter movies – again. Then the day after we went up to Sonoma with my brother and his fiancé for some wine at Hamel Wines (their 2018 Zinfandel was *chefs kiss*) and dinner at Layla at Macarthur Place. Macarthur Place has been on my ‘California Wine Country Hotels’ radar for a few years so it was fun to try their restaurant and see part of the property. Definitely a cute spot that we’ll have to get back to one day!
So that brings us up to speed. We’re currently in LA where we will spend 5 weeks soaking up the sun and low-key exploring where we’d want to live if we decided to move down here. To be honest, I love the idea of living in California. The weather, food, culture and amenities are more in line with my lifestyle and there are parts of Northern and Southern CA that I really enjoy. The only hiccup is the cost of living, and housing. It’s always been a bit ridiculous, but it’s extra ridiculous at the moment so we shall see what happens.
Top of Mind
At the moment it feels like full on Summer in LA which has my eye wandering towards warmer weather fashion. I’m particularly loving Faithful The Brands collection (love this matching top and short set as well as the bathing suit in this print!).
Also Nili Lotan’s SS’22 Collection. I love transitional fashion and style (even though Portland pretty much goes from cold and rainy to sweltering over night).
Summer travel has also been a bit top of mind lately and we’re hoping (aka planning) to head back over to Europe this Summer. We’re very lucky in that we’re in this phase of life where we don’t have kids yet and have a bit more disposable income than we did in our 20’s to put towards hobbies, personal development and travel. Really trying to make the most of it! I’ve got my eye on other parts of France as well as Portugal and Copenhagen (I’ve always wanted to go back in the Summer!).
I snagged these Lunya bike shorts over the holidays and they are my new favorite piece of loungewear for warmer, but still chilly temps. I know their stuff is on the pricier side, but everything that I’ve gotten from them are so incredibly worth it and make me feel extra luxurious.